The Other Side

Abstract

This book is about how, when, and why to engage with culture-war adversaries. Drawing on the author’s three decades in the same-sex marriage debate, it argues that direct, honest, civil engagement is often the most productive engagement. Not just another “Why can’t we all just get along?” text, the book takes seriously critiques of civil discourse as phony, distracting, ineffective, abusive, and reinforcing structural injustice, and it grounds the case for civility in the importance of keeping constructive dialogue going between diverse groups to solve shared problems. The author grants that there are times when dialogue is not feasible or desirable, and he has no interest in “lowest common denominator, kumbaya civility,” to quote one of his old marriage-debate opponents. This book is a master class in persuasive, productive communication across deep moral and political divides.