“One Can Have All Sorts of Good Intentions but Sometimes in Everyday Life, It Turns Out Differently”: Change Agreements in Couples' Everyday Lives

ABSTRACT

Online couple interventions are increasingly used to support couples experiencing relationship distress. However, little is known about how couples integrate intervention elements into their everyday lives. This longitudinal qualitative study examined how distressed parenting couples integrate change agreements developed in the online OurRelationship program. Six couples (12 participants) were included in the study. Data consisted of one coach session, as well as two rounds of individual interviews conducted 3–6 weeks and 6–7 months after program completion. Using longitudinal interpretative phenomenological analysis, we identified three main ways couples experienced, interpreted, and used the change agreements: (1) as instrumental contracts, (2) as expressions of mutual understanding, and (3) as making relational responsibility visible, including potential gendered asymmetries. Findings suggest that change agreements do not transfer directly into couples' everyday lives and that consequences evolve over time. Implications for practitioners, intervention design, and theories of relational change are discussed.