Does Why You Want Partnership Shape What You Want? A Self-Determination Perspective on Singles’ Relationship Goals

Self-determination theory provides a useful framework for understanding why singles may or may not desire partnership. In a longitudinal study of single adults ( N = 4,019), we assessed motivations for relational pursuit and coded ∼12,000 qualitative reports of relationship goals into 41 thematic categories. Six months later ( N = 3,176), participants reported their progress on these goals. Intrinsic and identified motivation were associated with goals emphasizing relational quality, including enjoyment and commitment. Introjected motivation, reflecting self-image concerns, was associated with prioritizing relational entry over relational quality. It was also associated with the pursuit of self-affirmation and lower goal progress. Amotivation was associated with not pursuing romantic relationships and greater progress on goals related to remaining single. Taken together, our findings suggest single peoples’ motivations to partner shape the quality of the relationships they seek and how they organize their behaviors within singlehood.