Birth of a Mother Without Giving Birth: Experiences of Non‐Biological Mothers in Lesbian Families
Yael Doft, Inbar Livnat, Maya PayesABSTRACT
Objective
To explore the lived experience of non‐biological mothers in lesbian families and the meaning they attribute to the maternal experience in the absence of a biological connection.
Background
Non‐biological mothers in lesbian planned families construct maternal identity without pregnancy, childbirth, or genetic ties. In a cultural context that privileges bio‐normativity and monomaternalism, these mothers navigate between an internal experience of complete motherhood and external structures that question their legitimacy.
Method
Ten in‐depth interviews were conducted with Israeli non‐biological mothers (ages 26–52) in same‐sex partnerships. Data were analyzed using interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA).
Results
Three themes emerged: (1) Motherhood born without giving birth: identity formation through presence and persistence; (2) Visibility and invisibility: navigating forced exposure as a lesbian and lack of acknowledgment as a mother; (3) Internal oscillation: a dialectic between being different and equally loving, between self‐confidence and the need to prove oneself worthy, between satisfaction with one's role and curiosity about the biological experience of motherhood.
Conclusion
Non‐biological motherhood involves holding complexity without resolution. These mothers construct complete identity through relationship, presence, and commitment, demonstrating that ongoing presence constitutes authentic motherhood.
Implications
Family therapists, perinatal providers, educators, and social workers shape whether non‐biological mothers' maternal standing is confirmed or questioned.